i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize