mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
