I'm really into asian looking animals
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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