Don't you send me to vm
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
