My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
