nut hugger
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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