Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize