i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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