Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
