he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
we should paint friendship bongs
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