I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize