She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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