Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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