Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
