The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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