are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
