if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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