I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You pole danced in your parka.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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