I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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