first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
