Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
