either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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