Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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