I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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