Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
