I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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