I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
