So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
