when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
