i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
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Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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