brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
