dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
