Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
