I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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