How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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