god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
try to milk me bitch
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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