So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
