His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
