just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
