I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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