when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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