remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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