Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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