he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
