actually, I'm a sock model
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
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1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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