Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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