I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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