Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
