she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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