Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
