Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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