GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
