What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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