She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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