Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were destined to go to rehab together
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
