Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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