my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
