Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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