OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
