I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize