I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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