Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
