You can't special order awesome
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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