You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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