Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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