I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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