if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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