the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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