Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
