Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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