I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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