so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
try to milk me bitch
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