there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
