HIV tests are more positive than that guy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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