you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
